Tag: Strength

Expressing My Truth Indeed

 

A lot of us are conditioned to speak good of God or believe that he is good but I could never truly go along with the program and I deeply regret posting articles five years ago seemingly promoting God–it was only because I went through the temporary trauma of seeing my mother go into cardiac arrest at the time. I tried to make myself like him out of the perceived threat of going to hell since I didn’t worship God and because I love my free will (something I had never feared beforehand) but it didn’t work. When someone who had once been close to you dies you may start to think more keenly about your own death and the afterlife–yet I have had many encounters and visits on the other side during my dreams where I have a high position of power. The trauma ended and I returned back to my normal self.

Normally, my spirit is at peace, but lately it has been agitated because I need to publicly profess a truth as a symbolization to the universe (not to or for other human beings, but as an acknowledgment unto the beauty that sustains me).

I cannot lie—I love my Orishas.

I do not love God. I truly never could honestly say that I ever loved God because I truly did not. Yahweh, Jehovah, or Jesus is not my truth, my light, or my way. Since childhood, God had always been a falsifier, the darkness, a hindrance—nothing but a huge suffocation and a burden.

During my early childhood, I knew that I was in trouble because of the knowledge that I had and because of the gifts that I possessed. That sick fucking God allowed people to put witchcraft on me at eight or nine years of age because I was born very special and unique, but I always had something in the universe watching out for me and protecting me.

They intended to drive me crazy and they wanted me on medication—both things that never happened. I was too resilient and too mentally equipped (unlike them). Their dumb bullshit was nothing for me to go crazy about.

I am going to cut this short now, but I just had to let it be known that I am proud of who I am and who I venerate. I don’t agree with or follow the Bible, as the Bible is one of the sickest books I ever read. God is a disgrace. The only beautiful things I read in the Bible are Mary conceiving a child without the aid of a man and them crucifying Jesus—an asshole who came to die for people/trash who weren’t and aren’t even worth dying for. God, the so-called father, had no business creating certain people in the first place.

I have always been insulted to walk this earth, as I feel God is beneath me. It makes me feel so good to know that I didn’t want to have any children and no child of mine will ever have to walk this earth to ever bow down to a God who isn’t worth shit. I wouldn’t want that garbage nowhere near my kid.

Energy does not lie. I always had a feeling deep within my spirit that God is no good, and I don’t care what anybody says or thinks. I never experienced peace with God, only with my Orishas, and I have exceptional sense and I am highly blessed.

I have had a lot of spiritual experiences, and God is not a spirit I ever felt drawn or close to because he is not right for me. I am glad I am nothing in nature like the average people he created.

 

The Grapevine

I am a straight up type of person as I speak the truth, whatever I have to say about a person I’ll tell them to their face, I have been known for my blunt and bold approach.

Nobody messes with me!

I never cared or worried about rumors and reputation my distinct character always stood out and spoke for itself.

Of course, individuals perceive and misconceive notions about others, in general, however, no one is defined by another person’s conjectures or lies.

People lie and talk about other people everyday.

People have constantly told lies on me all through out my life, gossip is a hot topic for those who are jealous, bitter, miserable, and who have no true fulfillment radiating within their life.

Most people who talk to such an extent don’t know what they are talking about.

Other people’s bullshit is usually a reflection of their own insecurities, tendencies, and susceptibilities. The instances have absolutely nothing to do with the other person on the receiving end.

The grapevine is a long line of history and travel in which goes back and forth to nowhere again, circulated stories of unproven reports, doubtful truths, and uncertain events.

I’d never lose any sleep or laughter over the stupidity of others, I’m far too intelligent and productive for that.

Insecure People

It all starts within the home.

I had and was given so much love and attention at home that I never sort out to find love elsewhere.

Love made me confident, love made me strong, love made me secure, and no one can take away what was instilled in me from the beginning.

I have a very high self esteem and I am very sure of myself I have never desired, needed, or looked for social acceptance or validation from anyone.

I don’t understand people who do.

I don’t like people who reflect their own insecurities and negativities onto me, and onto others who exude a genuine and a positive self image, and attitude.

Those whose self esteem is so low that they interpret self assurance and strong sense of self as being full of oneself is all too self-telling.

It seems that some who are unable to reach a secure level of self worth and self value within themselves are more apt or prone to devalue the value in which others actually have for themselves.

Insecure individuals who self doubt, have doubt within others, only because they don’t believe the possibilities in others, that are impossible for them.

 

 

Baby On Her Feet

After my mother gave birth to me she didn’t want to have anymore children, and I’m glad to be an only child.

My mother invested a lot of time and energy into caring for me and raising me, and she did a spectacular job.

I can’t believe all of the effort and patience my mother had, she was a natural, my mother championed parenthood.

After having gone through so much as a child herself, and taking on the certain responsibilities of her own mother by practically raising her baby sister, my mother deserved much credit.

Although she took on duties that were not her obligations my mother still had a reasonable childhood and healthy upbringing thanks to her resilient spirit and solicitous other family members.

As it is a priority for a loving parent to nurture and to protect their child, the one most important thing my mother told me that she desired when I was an infant and a toddler, was to live to see me grow up and be able to fend for myself.

My mother wanted me to reach into adulthood safely and individually established.

My mother had gotten her wish, and even better than what she hoped for under our particular set of circumstances which came to test us every now and then through the discontentment of unsavory people who envied our lifestyle, and relationship together.

I turned out good, and enduring, all the way through.

For a while, during my mid teenage years, I wondered how things within life would be once I entered into my twenties, and my experience was also even better than what I had myself expected.

My mother and I had divine intervention looking out and watching over us. We beat the obstacles negative people tried to set before us.

I have a beautiful wish for my mother that I’d like her and I to both live to see develop, and eventually happen.

 

 

A “Lady” Is Not “Truly” Defined By Her Sexual History

 

In my opinion, sexual intercourse is a stupid act as I consider a man and his penis totally undesirable.

Nevertheless, I am a very intelligent and logical open-minded woman who knows there are a lot of females who are interested in men and sex, or who may just use men for sex whether they want to have a child or they may just want to get their kicks off.

I can still elaborate common sense to a subject in which makes no sense.

I don’t care what anyone does with their lives or with their bodies as it is of no concern to me, in spite of that fact, as a societal issue and as a woman/lady myself I am inspired to express on this subject.

I’m not at all saying that attitudes will ever change, but that I, and I am quite sure many others, absolutely do not hold these same attitudes.

Bullshit like this pisses me off so I just had to speak on it. Sexual acts and nothing else soley lowers an individual’s status simply because they are a woman? I don’t give a fuck what anyone says or thinks!

I use to hate when some people thought years ago because I didn’t indulge in sex that it meant I was “saving myself” for a husband or that it meant I was “moral”. All this bullshit way of thinking all because of how I wasn’t using my vagina.

If I was having sex what would it have meant?

My body and what I didn’t or did do with it had nothing to do with my worth or dignity as a woman as my body is not for any man or for anyone to define.

I am so proud to have been born a strong, intelligent female/woman who was not brainwashed or easily influenced and I dare anyone to define to me what womanhood means or is all about.

As I’ve mentioned a while back, my mother listens to the radio sometimes, or just about everyday in the morning, and Steve Harvey spoke on a Strawberry Letter segment that someone wrote in about in regard to a thirty-two year old woman bartender who uses her job to pick up guys in their twenties because the guys her age can’t keep up with her sexually.

It was also mentioned within the letter as to there being a double standard when it comes to the sexual prowess of men and women.

So Steve elaborated on the letter and the double standard claim, acknowledging how the double standard has been out for centuries, and that it is not going to change.

Then he brought up about how his father explained to his sister when they were younger that as a female she wouldn’t be able to do what a man does (have sex with multiple people/men) and still be considered a lady. Yet, a man that has sex with multiple woman will always be considered a man, regardless.

Of course, I’ve heard and have been aware of this type of mentality among society, however, the notion has always been one of the dumbest and most illogical things in which I’ve ever heard.

This is the reason certain ignorant and jackass men think they can ruin a woman’s reputation if they get mad at her and/or if she doesn’t want him and he gets rejected by her. It gives these men a false sense of power.

There are dumb women who fall for the nonsense also and develop a toxic mindset.

Some men just want to stop certain women from being sexually liberated due to their inability of not being able to handle or to accept the kind of women who have no true feelings or emotional attachment to them.

It is only to feed into their ridiculous egos, a lack of knowledge into the configuration of particular women, or the bias and corny so called traditional values inhabiting them and society.

All women who have sex with multiple people are not whores. It depends on the nature of the situation and the mentality of the woman.

A woman who is hooked on a penis and who needs and desires it constantly, now that is a whore, whether the woman is married or single with one man, or has been with millions of them.

A man who is promiscuous is not looked upon as anyone or anything worthwhile within my eyes. There is no difference, and to me, for men, it is much worse because it really shows a weakness on their part if they are so hung up on a vagina and need sex the way they do. It speaks volumes about a man’s mind and character, and not within a good or respectable way.

If “nature” is the pathetic excuse for why many or most men are so lustful and get aroused so easily it just goes to show and prove that they are indeed the weaker sex.

I know there are plenty of weak women out in the world but women are generally stronger than men emotionally, anyway, I knew that ever since childhood.

I grew up within a family full of strong women so I know for a fact.

Wardrobe: Dressing In Style

As a child, my mother always kept me clean and very well-dressed. I constantly had the latest clothes and footwear if it had appealed to me.

During my teenage years my mother use to offer to buy me any type of clothing that I wanted just as long as she could afford to purchase the items at a reasonable price, however, I’d usually refuse her generosity when it came to buying apparel as I wasn’t interested in fashion. I was more preoccupied with food and health. So my mom would get me the type of things I liked to eat since I was growing up strictly vegan at that specific time.

My mother sometimes would hassle with me to get extra clothes when we’d go out shopping together, but, I didn’t want them. I never went without, though, I had brand new stuff stored away for years before I eventually wore them. I wasn’t the average teenager and I never gave my mother any problems that is why she was enthusiastic to give me things. She considered me to be a good kid who never wanted anything or ever bugged her about anything.

My mother loved to dress ever since she herself was a teen and she owned a lot of extremely nice apparel. I had good taste and dressed nice too but I wasn’t into clothing the way my mom was. There was plenty of people who were struck with admiration and jealous of her clothes, and fancy style of dress, whether she wore casual or eventful gear. A few of our neighbors would either ask to borrow certain items of my mother’s wardrobe or they’d attempt to put together outfits of their own to duplicate.

It is said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, I guess so.

 

 

Parents: Forever Thankful And Grateful

When people do right by me I always remember them and I will have their back, as I am loyal, genuine, and solid.

When people do wrong by me I always remember them and those people better watch their back, as I am trustworthy, authentic, and vile. – Miss LaToya

For a lot of us our parents are the first people we bond with when we enter into this life.

Some of us have good experiences with our folks and some of us have bad experiences with them.

Fortunately, I was exceptionally well taken care of by my mother, especially under the circumstances and burdens in which she was put through by unsavory individuals and the unnatural trials of life (Witchcraft/Black Magic).

Through out it all and no matter what occurred nothing ever prevented her from being an excellent mother to her child.

I’ll never forget how well I was taken care of and how much I was loved and respected by my very own mother as a child on up until the present and the regard goes a long way.

My mother can always count on me to be in her corner and to always look out for her and not out of obligation but out of an enormous appreciation.

 

Let Bygones Be Bygones? No, I Don’t Think So!

I hate when people say let bygones be bygones. Once I cut a person loose it’s for keeps. Individuals have one time to mess up with me, they don’t get a second chance.

If I dislike someone, if someone rubs me the wrong way, If I get a negative vibe about someone, or if someone does a wrongdoing towards me, that’s it. There will never be a future within any type of association.

I have always been this way. I do not forgive and I do not forget.

Forgiving someone has absolutely nothing to do with strength and not forgetting has absolutely nothing to do with not being able to move on.

I don’t know where some people get their mode of thinking from as I’ve heard people talk such reverse nonsense.

If someone helped one out a long, long time ago, and then they ended up needing a favor would it be wise to summarize that their generosity of being helpful was done a long time ago so I’ll just forget about it and not be considerate enough to return a good deed?

Hell, no.

So why should dirt done by others be forgotten about? One doesn’t have to dwell on a situation and can go on with their life without making a truce.

If one was foolish enough to actually mend ties, depending on the circumstance, they’d just be going back to the exact situation as before, only worse.

Usually it is the ones who caused the trouble to begin with who are eager to want bygones to be bygones.

I usually say bye and be gone.

Nobody is hurt by them and nobody cares about them, people who feel the way we do don’t even be thinking about these other people so obviously it is them who cannot move on.

Mammogram: The Spirit Is Stronger Than Cancer/Disease

I just had my very first mammogram two months ago.

My primary care physician had suggested for me to get one years ago when I first entered my forties as a routine precaution.

I don’t know of anyone in my family to have ever had breast cancer and aside from there being no history of it within the lives of my relatives I never had any personal concern in regard to the issue.

I know bloodline is not a definite factor and that anyone can be at risk for breast cancer under particular circumstances in which may not always be known or explained, nevertheless, I don’t consider breast cancer a threat to me.

My test results came back normal as I expected.

I know the thought of going through biopsies, treatments, having a mastectomy, or the possibilities of an impending death is a grave matter for a lot of women and one that could be stressful and exhausting.

Yet, still and all, if I was diagnosed with the disease I would handle the situation in an entirely different fashion.

When it was suspected I had a malignant growth on one of my ovaries during my teenage years up into early adulthood I wasn’t fazed by the instance.

I had already sensed and knew I had a mass before the doctors came to know and before I went through all of the radiology testing and procedures I had undergone.

My mother at one point in her life had ovarian cancer and was lucky enough to defeat and survive it so I had a good idea of what was going on within my body with the pain and discomfort. I wasn’t afraid or mentally or emotionally troubled by the experience at all.

I didn’t care, and I’m still here.

I am a very spiritual and spiritually inclined individual by nature I was never meant to fall fatally ill and die from any disease, it just wasn’t in my destiny.

The power of healing is a very legitimate condition as I know my spirit, body, and mind is much stronger than an attack or threat of any foul disease.

I have already been put to the test.

Unbreakable: A Strong Mind Cannot Be Broken

When the spirit is strong and the mind is pure no amount of insalubrity can tarnish its ravishing essence- miss latoya

When my mother, Patricia Lawrence, was twelve years of age she won the top spelling bee of her whole entire school, not of her class, the entire school.

She was awarded a gold pen in front of the school auditorium in recognition for her achievement.

When I was eight years of age the same circumstance occurred upon my life. I received a gold pen for being one of the top best readers within the entire school, not just in my classroom, but out of the whole entire school as well.

I also received a gold pen directly in front of my entire school auditorium.

I was never uncertain about myself and genuine people in my corner have constantly believed in me.

I’m proud of those in particular who are naturally incorporated with various faculty it is inspiring and wonderful. I like to see deserving people succeed.

When we’re very young a lot of us know what we’re good at and what we are capable of doing and proceed on within pursuing or accomplishing the goals in which spark our interests.

It is vital to never abandon the gifts and talents we are born with and to never allow anyone to cause any type of discouragement, or self doubt within oneself, to do so would be ludicrous.

Especially, when one knows better.

There are envious people in life who’ll come around to call us the opposite of who we are, and who will attempt to deviously persuade us to believe we don’t have the capabilities that we indeed do surely possess, all because they do not share within our beautiful spotlight and they just want to pull us all down.

They not only endeavor to cause us to question or doubt our abilities, but our character as well.

It is a head game in which only works on weak-minded individuals.

A strong-minded individual never let’s anyone steer them into a direction leading toward a false reality.

It is illogical for a strong-minded individual to listens to lies in which our truths have innately revealed, and already defined.

Our paths are open, our steps are ordered to move consistently, take the prizes granted unto us, and create a personal self fulfilled destiny and prosperity.

Continue to sail forward and be fierce!

At Home: A Description Of Me And My Homelife

 

I love the comforts of home, especially after a day or night at the job, depending on the shift I worked.

I enjoy the life I have.

I’m asexual, I don’t want or desire any man, I am very happily single, I don’t have or want any children, I don’t deal with unsavory people and individuals who I don’t care to be bothered with, I can come and go as I please, I have peace of mind, and I live an extremely healthy lifestyle.

I’m smart, confident, strong, independent, spiritual, kind, loving, and ultimately fond of puppies and dogs. These attributes all contribute to my longevity and ability to survive and maintain as I can get through anything in life.

I’ve already made it through the challenging periods still in tact. Anything else to come will be halted and handled by divine intervention.

I’m not an emotional type of person though I’m very passionate and energetic I love my space as I don’t like to intermingle too much. I’m very particular with whom I associate myself with if I do give certain people the time of day.

I am a loner, yet very far from lonely,  or being alone. I have my loved ones around me and those who have my back.

When I’m at home I love to relax. I delight within preparing and cooking my favorite foods, listening to good music, preferably tunes from when music was “real music”, not the shit predominately recorded now.

I love to read books, play and have fun with pets (I don’t have a canine at the moment), look at suspenseful movies and television programs.

I also have a lot of creative hobbies In which I take pleasure in.

My zodiac sign is Taurus and we love our homes.

 

 

 

Healthcare Jobs

 

I’ve seen and heard a lot within life in general, however, working as a caregiver within the healthcare field one gets to see an additional variety of tragic situations.

When I went to work I did my job then left to go home. I never got attached to anyone of my clients and I never dealt with any of the coworkers.

It was just another job to me as I purely communicated on a professional level.

I didn’t take work home with me and I didn’t bring anything from home to work. Neither one had anything to do with the other.

Once I got home, the job was all forgotten about, except for anticipating pay day!

All I desired to do was to relax and enjoy the peace and contentment within my own life.

There was one thing I kept in mind from working in healthcare, though, and that was the misfortune in other people’s realities.

After encountering all of the people I have along with their families and observing the predicaments surrounding them I realized just how fortunate and lucky I really was and have been.

I’ve looked at all of the mental and physical afflictions and personal problems that plagued these people and would never want to undergo any of their conditions.

Everyone I’ve came into contact with wasn’t in a bad way. The ones who were suffered tremendously all struggling within their own ailments and life circumstances.

As one behind the scenes I got to see everything from a raw angle. I knew what really went on in some of the hospitals and assisted living facilities with corrupt staff as well as in the homes of these clients with no good family members.

A few of the clients themselves weren’t any good either and what they’ve done in life could’ve made them end up the way they are now.

On this path I’ve also met quite a few nice people along with their families who had treated me very well and who were very hospitable and generous toward me.

They made me feel so comfortable and welcomed and I had provided great care for their loved ones.

 

 

 

 

 

Envious And Jealous People

Jealousy and envy is very real and it is a very ugly emotion and thing in which causes discontentment and resentment within certain individuals towards others.

Have you ever had positive situations going for you and those in particular attempted to spoil the advantages?

It happens all of the time with many of us who are productive and who are able to flourish.

People are ready and are often on standby looking to prevent and to tarnish the prospects of opportunity as they don’t like to see others succeed and get ahead.

The most important thing to do is to always stay aware, keep up at having a genuine sense of self, purpose, and foundation.

Continue to revel within your own personal happiness, peace, and determination to proceed forward as no one can destroy one’s true inner joy, serenity, and motivation if they are strong within mind and spirit.

Recognition

One doesn’t need the acknowledgement from others to acknowledge one’s self

I’ve never needed a reward or anybody’s praise to feel good about myself.

I know who I am and I know what I’m capable of doing.

If no one ever took notice of my abilities it would not have made me any less able.

There is so much more to many of us than what a lot of others can see or perceive upon the surface.

What about the other qualities or faculties in which we may possess?

What about our character, how our minds think, what we stand for, what we believe in, the very things in which define our being of substance?

Those of us who are strong and confident don’t require anyone to validate us. Our existence and state of being is proof enough of affirmation, we don’t need confirmation.

The very first award I remember to have received was at the age of seven or eight, I was presented a pen in front of my entire school auditorium for being one of the best readers among all the other students.

From then on, I’d constantly receive certificates, awards, and tokens of achievement, whether at school or on my jobs.

Of course, these exhibits of recognition are very nice and enough to make our parents and those who believe within our capacity very proud of us and of our accomplishments.

I just feel praise and awards are just words and objects in which one shouldn’t expect to depend on when it comes to self worth or self value, and going forward to attain one’s aspirations.

Self Value/Self Respect

 

Some people are oblivious to the calculating motives and operation of certain supervisors or person’s within the workplace, and other particular establishments.

I’ve never been anyone’s flunky, or one to kiss anybody’s ass, and I will never start to.

I’m not the type who does anything to keep a job, or the type to accept any form of abuse, or mistreatment,  especially not at the cost of insulting my intelligence and dignity.

I’m too fiery and sensible of a person to be held down and to not realize the additional opportunities out there within the world just waiting for me to reach out and grab them.

All we have to do if or when such an instance occurs is to seek and we shall most definitely find a well suited venture to undertake.

Vile Strength

 

My mother had me when she was twenty-two years old and we became very close as we bonded immediately after I was born.

We’ve been through a lot together enduring circumstances in which many would not have survived and coming out sustained within a fashion that has caused some to wonder and to be amazed.

My mother and I have battled a very long way from the negativity directed towards us by envious, jealous, and unsavory people in specific.

My mother and I both constantly held our ground and we continue to stand.

Hooray to Peace, power, love, and protection.

 

 

 

Single Parent Home

Ever since I was a young child I knew that if there was something that I didn’t want within my life then the situation was not going to work out.

Only the things that I preferred and under the circumstances in which I truly desired would instances turn out favorably and long lasting to my concordance.

I was never the type of female that ever hoped to one day get married and have children. I didn’t initially yearn to be a mother, when the idea later on within young adulthood came into mind to have a child it was with the intention of being a single parent, yet I eventually changed my mind about having a baby altogether and it was the right choice for me.

If I did have a child, though, it definitely would have been on my own without a man involved in the picture.

I fortunately grew up in a home without my father present and that is the way I liked it as I grew up strong, confident, independent and liberated-not implying that females that are raised in homes with their father’s can’t turn out that way-it was just an advantage that served a great purpose for me.

When I was little I never wished for or thought about having a dad around and when I saw other children that parents were married or together as a couple it was a situation that I didn’t require to be in I was very content and accustomed to my family order with me and my mom.

I wasn’t alone either there were other kids like me whose mothers raised them without a father it was normal to us. I can’t speak on how they actually felt about the matter, however, everything suited me just fine.

My mother never had any problems out of me I was a good child.

One thing I hated though was when guys were attracted to me or interested in me whether their intentions were good or bad I didn’t care, I wasn’t flattered by any of the attention I was genuinely turned off by it.

And it feels so good that I don’t have to go through undesirable and unsavory individuals who use to send to me the annoying invasions of mind transference through voodoo/black magic.

They had been doing it within many ways for many years within different techniques but with the same motives and that was to bring me down to their level.

Whether it was to attempt to lower my self esteem or to get me to have feelings for a man they worked hard at it and failed miserably.

These people were jealous and resentful because I’d never been hurt or dogged out by a man as so many of them had even the guys were envious and jealous of me they all figured if I was in the same predicament as they were I couldn’t or wouldn’t think that I was better than any of them.

They were also jealous and envious of my intelligence and knowledge and where I could go within life if and when the opportunity arose.

They had such a warped sense of mindset that didn’t correspond with mine in the least if they had succeeded in their designs I’d still be the person who I am today with the same mentality no man could ever break me or kill my spirit. I wasn’t built within that fashion.

If I were interested in men I’d be able to get a good man and would only deal with one that was on my level, however, I’m proudly asexual and am fulfilled and complete as a woman and an individual.