Category: Established

Where I Want To Live

 

 

Back in the nineties, as I used to travel quite often to and from the city of Manhattan, I considered the idea of one day moving there.

To take up residency in a gorgeous Brownstone of my choice if possible.

I loved Manhattan back then!

After time passed, the desire faded. I love certain areas of Queens where I plan to remain right now for the time being- unless I one day change my mind to another part of New York.

However, my choice will not be Manhattan, Brooklyn, or the Bronx.

There are many other beautiful parts of New York for me to go If I ever decide to permanently change locations.

 

 

 

Off Into The New Year: Into The Universe I Go

I don’t put my faith within others, but within myself, as no one knows me better than I know myself.

I spent Christmas Eve, Christmas day, New Year’s Eve, and New Year’s day at work earning that holiday pay.

Christmas is just another day to me as I stopped celebrating the festivity when I was twelve years of age.

The days and evenings went nice, quiet, and productive.

My new year has already started off to my liking. I continue to succeed at whatever I do because I am a conqueror who is full of wisdom, strength, and confidence.

Once I put my mind to something no one and nothing can stop me.

My new year will be another new beginning to the many chapters of my unique spiritual and earthly life.

 

Insecure People

It all starts within the home.

I had and was given so much love and attention at home that I never sort out to find love elsewhere.

Love made me confident, love made me strong, love made me secure, and no one can take away what was instilled in me from the beginning.

I have a very high self esteem and I am very sure of myself I have never desired, needed, or looked for social acceptance or validation from anyone.

I don’t understand people who do.

I don’t like people who reflect their own insecurities and negativities onto me, and onto others who exude a genuine and a positive self image, and attitude.

Those whose self esteem is so low that they interpret self assurance and strong sense of self as being full of oneself is all too self-telling.

It seems that some who are unable to reach a secure level of self worth and self value within themselves are more apt or prone to devalue the value in which others actually have for themselves.

Insecure individuals who self doubt, have doubt within others, only because they don’t believe the possibilities in others, that are impossible for them.

 

 

I Worked At The Home Of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Relative Once

In between retail jobs, I’ve worked as a care manager as well as a companion to many wealthy people through very reputable private agencies, for years.

I’ve come across many fascinating people/clients and individuals who were on my level of knowledge, and high energetic vibration.

I’ve also come across working within the most gorgeous and beautiful homes, and establishments with the most welcoming and hospitable reception, generously offered unto me by those who I professionally serviced.

There are a lot of good people in the world and one’s that I connected to, and flourished around.

I’ve met and been within the households of famous people, too.

One lady client of mine was a retired judge who’s husband was the first cousin to Gwyneth Paltrow’s father.

I saw the actresses younger pictures on the shelves of the home, and I had inquired to the care manager who worked the twelve hour day shift if that was Gwen in the photos, her facial features were quite distinctive and obvious to me even though her hair was in it’s natural uncolored state.

This particular overnight case in which I had undertook involved using a special lock, key, and code in order to enter into the premises.

I had to travel far out into the island three or four days a week but I enjoyed the environment and the delightful experience of my versatile job.

This retired judge had an extravagant view of the ocean from the glass doors and windows of a comfortable lounging room, and across from the oceans were more luxurious homes.

I use to watch the sunset come up and watch the pretty white swans float back and forth in the early morning of the day. It was so nice to see and to take in, all of the beauty and the serenity.

I, of course, made a recording of the entire scene with my smartphone at the time to show and to share with my mother when I returned back home.

 

 

Baby On Her Feet

After my mother gave birth to me she didn’t want to have anymore children, and I’m glad to be an only child.

My mother invested a lot of time and energy into caring for me and raising me, and she did a spectacular job.

I can’t believe all of the effort and patience my mother had, she was a natural, my mother championed parenthood.

After having gone through so much as a child herself, and taking on the certain responsibilities of her own mother by practically raising her baby sister, my mother deserved much credit.

Although she took on duties that were not her obligations my mother still had a reasonable childhood and healthy upbringing thanks to her resilient spirit and solicitous other family members.

As it is a priority for a loving parent to nurture and to protect their child, the one most important thing my mother told me that she desired when I was an infant and a toddler, was to live to see me grow up and be able to fend for myself.

My mother wanted me to reach into adulthood safely and individually established.

My mother had gotten her wish, and even better than what she hoped for under our particular set of circumstances which came to test us every now and then through the discontentment of unsavory people who envied our lifestyle, and relationship together.

I turned out good, and enduring, all the way through.

For a while, during my mid teenage years, I wondered how things within life would be once I entered into my twenties, and my experience was also even better than what I had myself expected.

My mother and I had divine intervention looking out and watching over us. We beat the obstacles negative people tried to set before us.

I have a beautiful wish for my mother that I’d like her and I to both live to see develop, and eventually happen.

 

 

Blessings In Disguise

I’ve always been a free and bubbly spirit, strong and Independent, smart and confident.

Everything I achieved I’ve done on my own no one helped me to get where I’m at as I took the initiative and never accepted or needed any handouts and I am proud of myself.

Since I was in my early twenties just like a lot of young women do around that age I desired to have my own home and to live by myself.

I wasn’t exactly denied the preference. Sometimes life doesn’t give one what they want at the cost of vacating another.

My leaving a shared nest is not necessarily abandoning certain family members depending on the intention. Of course, it’s completely normal and healthy to desire to spread one’s wings and to live a life of their own.

Yet when a loved one may need us life may intercede at what can seem like a burden until we are compensated in ways that operate on the behalf of both parties when the situation is just and commendable.

We learn to accept within specific conditions and make allowances in which turn out to benefit one another at the same time maintaining an independence and individual mode of living.

When we’re decent and good, the universe recognizes, and rewards us special blessings.

Innovative Style: Spirit Mode

There are many who don’t get hired for a specific job due to their over qualifications while many are employed within jobs in which they are over qualified to be working.

Many also desire to venture out into their own establishments and conduct businesses of their very own.

Where it may seem impossible, there can be ways made in order to ultimately break through, if one is steadfast and celestially aligned within the universe.

Anyone with the proper funds are able to open up a business. The question is can they sufficiently operate and run a solid business? Do they have what it takes to prosper and to maintain?

A lot of business undertakings do not last and investments fall hard, leaving entrepreneurs within a hole.

Although no pursuit is guaranteed when vibration is within balance and in correspondence to one’s destiny circumstance no longer falls into risk the situation becomes concrete.

I know to listen to the inner voice of wisdom and spirit. When those celestial stars begin to open up, the force will inevitably instruct one to, go for it!

 

Good Vibrations

Other people’s behavior never affected my accomplishments yet having positive energy around one gives a situation an extra boost.

I’ve been in workplaces occupied by  good employers who treated me right and who strived to be fair.

Work environment is very important although we don’t have control over the negativity that may arise or hover over within the atmosphere of toxic people.

I don’t get involved with rancorous people or frivolous crowds.

I go to work to do my job and not to make friends. I’m civil to coworkers but I keep my distance toward those who my spirit doesn’t take to.

When I have an occupation in which suits me well, regardless of whether or not I really want to be there at the job, to me, it is more like fun than actual work itself.

When one enjoys what they do and are comfortable within their settings it can make all the difference as to how successfully they will perform.

 

 

 

Meal Break

Vegan Seitan Burger With Vegan Cashew Mozzarella-Style Cheese

While I’m on my job I usually do well by not having the urge to eat.

If or when I do get hungry I eat very healthily as I constantly do within my normal day to day life.

As I was never one to pack a lunch,  I have carried granola bars, crackers, peanuts, and bags of chips with me to snack on from time to time. However, for a meal, I’d usually purchase something from the outside.

I’m very particular where I eat from if I purchase or eat at certain places. I prefer to by items in which I can trust are prepared under sanitary conditions and in which are preferable to me within the ingredients if I even decide to buy at all.

I’d usually get frozen desserts, fresh fruit, a freshly made sandwich, and a fresh salad when working at my retail jobs.

I’d stop off at a whole foods to buy hot food or at a grocery store to pick up some bags of fruit, and things I could prepare and heat up, if I worked at one of my health care settings as a caregiver.

It’s hard for me to pick up a quick bite during a lunch or meal break due to the fact I am a vegetarian who doesn’t eat Gmo products, dairy, artificial, and other individual undesirable ingredients.

Already prepared foods don’t always have listed contents beside them or on their packaging except for stores like Whole Foods and certain other markets.

I’ll ask what type of oils or if there are any type of things that I don’t eat prepared within specific dishes yet I may not always get a true answer if one is not sure or one just wants to make a profit for their store.

Hell, we can’t always for certain trust what’s written on a lot of the general labeling, anyhow, as there are sometimes hidden ingredients preserved inside.

Though, it is important to know exactly what is contained within our food products as some people have serious or life-threatening allergic reactions to particular foods.

Single Parent Home

Ever since I was a young child I knew that if there was something that I didn’t want within my life then the situation was not going to work out.

Only the things that I preferred and under the circumstances in which I truly desired would instances turn out favorably and long lasting to my concordance.

I was never the type of female that ever hoped to one day get married and have children. I didn’t initially yearn to be a mother, when the idea later on within young adulthood came into mind to have a child it was with the intention of being a single parent, yet I eventually changed my mind about having a baby altogether and it was the right choice for me.

If I did have a child, though, it definitely would have been on my own without a man involved in the picture.

I fortunately grew up in a home without my father present and that is the way I liked it as I grew up strong, confident, independent and liberated-not implying that females that are raised in homes with their father’s can’t turn out that way-it was just an advantage that served a great purpose for me.

When I was little I never wished for or thought about having a dad around and when I saw other children that parents were married or together as a couple it was a situation that I didn’t require to be in I was very content and accustomed to my family order with me and my mom.

I wasn’t alone either there were other kids like me whose mothers raised them without a father it was normal to us. I can’t speak on how they actually felt about the matter, however, everything suited me just fine.

My mother never had any problems out of me I was a good child.

One thing I hated though was when guys were attracted to me or interested in me whether their intentions were good or bad I didn’t care, I wasn’t flattered by any of the attention I was genuinely turned off by it.

And it feels so good that I don’t have to go through undesirable and unsavory individuals who use to send to me the annoying invasions of mind transference through voodoo/black magic.

They had been doing it within many ways for many years within different techniques but with the same motives and that was to bring me down to their level.

Whether it was to attempt to lower my self esteem or to get me to have feelings for a man they worked hard at it and failed miserably.

These people were jealous and resentful because I’d never been hurt or dogged out by a man as so many of them had even the guys were envious and jealous of me they all figured if I was in the same predicament as they were I couldn’t or wouldn’t think that I was better than any of them.

They were also jealous and envious of my intelligence and knowledge and where I could go within life if and when the opportunity arose.

They had such a warped sense of mindset that didn’t correspond with mine in the least if they had succeeded in their designs I’d still be the person who I am today with the same mentality no man could ever break me or kill my spirit. I wasn’t built within that fashion.

If I were interested in men I’d be able to get a good man and would only deal with one that was on my level, however, I’m proudly asexual and am fulfilled and complete as a woman and an individual.

 

My Mother, Patricia

My mother Patricia Lawrence came from a very good and loving solid family, although, her mother wasn’t a good example of what a parent should be my mother received a lot of love, care, and guidance from her grandparents, uncles, cousins, and her father.

On account of her own mother, as well as a few of her envious and jealous siblings, Patricia had it rough growing up yet succeeded within many of her endeavors and became a very responsible and very sufficient adult.

Patricia was a very intelligent woman who had many talents of her very own.

She use to play the saxophone, write music, sewed and design clothing, mastered the art of short hand (Gregg and Pittman), enjoyed and was very skilled in the fields of typing as she once attended college to become a stenographer.

During adolescence Patricia savored the periods of time she’d spend down in Halifax, Virginia with her grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins on her mother’s side of the family.

Down there in the south she worked on the farm, milking the cows, and attending to all of the other animals her family owned.

Our family had mules, bulls, cows, pigs, hens, roosters, baby chickens, turkeys, horses, dogs and cats.

The elders showed my very young mother along with her brother work ethics and responsibility.

At the ages of nine and ten they were taught how to labor numerous tobacco fields on the lands in which her family also owned.

They picked out all varieties of family grown crops in the gardens which some were sold to buyers and the rest was kept for our family to eat as they were established farmers who fed on their own natural and healthy produce.

Our family had their own businesses.

Patricia’s grandmother was a full-blooded Cherokee indian woman who made her own soaps and other handmade and homemade items.

Patricia’s grandfather was an african american man who headed their farm that he with the help of his wife, daughters, and sons kept prosperous.

Patricia’s great uncle, who was her mother’s uncle, owned and conducted his very own funeral home. When he died he passed the establishment on down to our close relatives.