Peaceful Day

Yesterday when I awoke, the first thing I did was thank the Lord for allowing me to see another day of life.

Later in the afternoon I felt a joy within my spirit.

Today I am relaxed within the stillness of the day, listening to the rain pour down, and taking in the beauty of God’s unwavering presence that is heavily enveloped around me.

Help To Those In Need: Charity, Volunteer Work, Donations

Some times when people think about donating or volunteering, they assume they may have to give up large portions of valuable items or time of themselves.

This notion is simply not at all true.

There are people who do not really want to give away anything but do it because they think God will punish them or look down on them if they do not share with the less fortunate or those in need.

The truth is, we all cannot please or gain points with the Lord on account of good works. He showers us purely through his love, grace, and mercy. However, when we do act purely within accordance to goodwill from our hearts God is delighted and he blesses us even more for our kindness.

Some people put on an air in front of others just to gain approval or praise by helping out the poor, needy, disadvantaged, or ones who are just temporarily/periodically going through a hard time. For them, it is all about getting recognition.

There are even people who when they do volunteer or donate, they are not very polite, courteous, or decent about their efforts and within their ventures.

Some individuals donate articles of clothing or items of use that may be in very poor, raggedy or undesirable condition and that is not suitable or hygienic.

Nevertheless, these people have the idea or mentality that people who are beggars cannot be choosers or that people in desperate need should feel lucky enough to get what they can due to their predicament.

People can be both cruel and judgmental towards others but if it was them within this particular unfortunate situation, they would not desire to receive someone else’s neglected or badly worn-out hand-me-downs or patronizing, condescending attitude.

When any of us are inspired to give the motive or intention should not be out of a feeling of torture or obligation. One’s main aim and purpose should come from a place of honesty, sincerity, and peace.

A true feeling of, humanity, compassion or empathy for what someone else may be going through that incites us to help.

If one decides to donate money it does not have to be a humongous amount. It can be fifty-cents, a dollar, five dollars, or ten dollars. It is the thought that really counts.

If one decides to donate clothing, toys or other articles of benefit, at least have them all cleaned and in a decent and suitable condition for someone else to appreciate and enjoy. To be generous and take kindness a little bit further, buy or share an item that is brand new or that has never been in use before.

If one decides to give of their time for some volunteering event, spend as short or as long a time within doing so as tolerated or permitted just volunteer and give of yourself amiably and with consideration.

During times when I give (or have gave), it is because I have been blessed by God and it is only right and fair to sympathize and to show the Lord how thankful I am by aiding to another. Also, because it comes from my heart or sense of humanity in specific circumstances.

I have lost money in the street before within the distant past; however, I did not get upset about it. I said to myself that it probably happened for a reason. Someone would have come across that money who may have needed it more than I did because I was not lacking for anything. Even if I was, God definitely would have provided by eventually reimbursing the money back to me.

So, whatever we do within our unstinting, self-sacrificing, unselfish, free-handed behavior- do it authentically and without expecting anything in return. When you do, it brings such a warm, uplifting, beautiful feeling to the heart and to the senses.

It also brings joy to the Lord to see his children responding to one another in love, care and thoughtfulness.

 

Living For The Lord

I always believed in you. Then, I accepted you as my Lord and Savior at the age between ten or twelve.

I went through some hardships that sometimes made me doubt you. I even separated myself from you for a while out of anger, and misunderstanding of your nature. Nonetheless, the essence of your spirit still produced a purity within me.

Through it all, everything turned out okay. You taught me so much. You gave to me so much. You cared for me so much.

Upon my reunion with you, I gave myself completely to you. Never to depart from you, never to go astray. I am not mean to be that way.

I wake up in delight of your presence, I spend the day talking to you, walking in your grace. I retire in the night with you, drifting off to sleep under your guard.

The words I read in scripture bring life into meaning. They bring food to my soul, power into my spirit.

I do not live life on my own, I have really grown. I have never been of this world; I am not of it. I do not want any part of it.

I live my life for you, because of you. You live through me; you are within me.

You created me to have a relationship with you, to get totally acquainted with you. This partnership is supernatural, very extraordinary of its kind. A companionship to treasure, and one that will last forever.

 

 

Providence: My Great Protector

I noticed since early childhood the favor over my mother and I, and the manner in which God took great care of my family.

The Lord watched over us solicitously, his eyes vigilant to never waver, his hands fixed firmly on every situation. Even when I did not think or believe he was looking out or holding our circumstances in place.

We mattered to God. And, we still do.

I have been so very fortunate by his mercy and grace, covered by what seemed like an extra hedge of protection from others and the principalities of this evil world, and beyond.

When I look back, I see all that I avoided and escaped because of the wisdom and discernment granted upon me from the Lord. The comfort and peace I experienced in the midst of trials that made people of the world marvel at me in disappointment and wonder.

Enemies or adversaries that attempted to destroy me were defeated.

Even so-called believers who professed to be Christians The Lord had warned and protected me against, wholeheartedly coming to my rescue to head me out into safety.

God is definitely my refuge and strength, an essential help in times of trouble as well as in times of order.

 

A Very Best Friend

I had always considered my mother and my deceased dog “Brandie” of seventeen years to have been two of my very best friends here on the entire planet.

There is another friend I have come to know as a best friend. One who sticks closer to me than any other ever could or would. I had known him for years, ever since I was a child, but did not know or realize the depth of the relationship that had developed between us.

While I had often misinterpreted and misunderstand this individual and his character he ultimately interpreted and understood me, and was always very patient and compassionate toward me when I did not even recognize it.

This individual gave me my space to discover, learn and to grow through each of my circumstances and situations. Though he gave me room to figure out things, he was always near within reach, never to leave me out from his presence.

Now that my eyes are open to see clearer, my mind is receptive to the fact that the friend I once thought of as indifferent outside of me, was actually the constant companion who lived ever so benevolently inside of me.

This friend’s name is Jesus and he literally lives inside of me and he is not going away because he promised not to. And, this friend of mine, unlike others, does not tell any lies. So, if he makes any type of statement, I can definitely rely on whatever claim is made by him.

Jesus is a very good friend of mine who loves me more than my mother or dog, or anyone else is capable of loving and caring for me, and that is phenomenal.

He is there for me at any moment of the day when I need or want to talk. There is never a time when he is unavailable or not in the mood to hear or listen to my voice and concerns.

He carries me when I am unable to walk and he holds me up when feel like I am going to fall. He knows me better than I know myself and he knows where to lead me when I don’t know where to go.

I can depend on him and I do.

I surrender to Jesus because I want him to lead me and guide me through life. As a true friend who has the extraordinary heart of a parent and beloved pet who both love unconditionally, I know that I can entrust my entire being into his supervision and care.

Oh, what a wonderful friend that I have in my Lord Jesus, one who is genuine and true. A very best friend to the end-which in return will be my true new beginning.

Spending Time With God: The Power Of The Lord

The name of the Lord is very powerful. When I call on the name Jesus he never fails to come.

The devil will run instantly at the sound of his name. Peace will come immediately by the faith in his name.

I have experienced these realities all too personally and can readily, boldly, and joyfully give testimony to each and every tale of power that came from the result of believing and acting on the name of Jesus Christ.

In the morning, evening, and afternoon I consult with the Lord. I speak to him even if it is just to say, “Hi”. I tell God how I feel, ask him what he thinks about things I am unsure of, or I just explain to him how I feel.

The Lord does not ignore me either because I seek him with all of my heart. God knows our true intentions. He often answers me in a number of ways. One fashion is through my thoughts. As one of the Lord’s sheep, I do know his voice and I listen to him.

The closer we are to God the deeper he reveals and displays himself to us and significantly within our lives.

It is wonderful to know that we can turn to the Lord for any and everything. He is consistent and will not waver in providing for all our essential needs and humble desires.

It brings me great comfort to immerse myself in God’s word when I read through scripture and biblically inspired content. It enlivens the holy spirit within me, giving a literal warmth, and consoling grasp to my body. I feel a nice soothe from the spirit. A connection in harmony with being fed wholesome.

The best meal to taste is the one where we consume the word of the Lord. I eat and drink of it relaxed in bed, spending moments or even hours sometimes earnestly gathering instruction and knowledge before going to sleep.

Engaging in a relationship with God brings such fulfillment and a greater hope.

 

I Will Always Be Her Baby: Protective Parent

I think it was in 2019 when my mother accompanied me to Brooklyn to take care of some business.

I have worked in Brooklyn, New York a few times and an agency I once worked for was headquartered down there.

Before that particular time period, I had traveled to Brooklyn when I occasionally had to during my early adulthood, and so on.

Brooklyn is not the best area but it is not the worst either, however, I prefer not to go there if I do not have to.

So anyway, in 2019 when I had to go handle an affair my mother would not let me go alone. I was forty-four years old at the time but this woman refused to let me head down to this area by myself. My heart was greatly warmed.

Of, course, my mother knew the certain routes of Brooklyn and other places. She was a busy traveler in her days too.

No matter how old we get we will always receive the solicitous regard of our thoughtful and concerned parents.

Even while out running an errand in our neighborhood I would get phone calls from my mom checking to see if I was alright or what was taking me so long to return home.

It is all so cute and endearing.

Messages From The Lord: Childhood Memories

When I was around nine years of age, I remember a piercing dream that I had at the time. I was an extremely sensitive (very intuitive/spiritually inclined) child back then, keenly intelligent and highly aware. I was in-tuned to my surroundings whether physical or spiritual.

This was no ordinary dream; within the vision my mother had passed away and I was at her gravesite burial. The idea of my mother dying or being dead at that early time in my life was both heartbreaking and earth-shattering. Yes, quite traumatic and momentous. I could not have imagined life without her. It would have destroyed me so young because I loved her tremendously and we had a special bond.

In the morning, when I awoke from the dream, the emotional residue from what I had encountered lingered with me a bit. Soon I realized that my mother was not actually going to die, however, I was being divinely guided with discipline. God was using a devastating example to teach me a very valuable lesson.

The training behind the reprimand was to have more appreciation for my mother. The Lord’s act was warranted, and even at that age of nine it was appropriate and I understood. There were times when I was not being considerate and showing an unjustifiable attitude toward my mom due to whatever was going on within me.

I told my mother about the dream afterwards because I shared everything with her. She agreed with me about the message I received. I took the instruction from God appreciatively as I appreciated the warning and I indeed appreciated my mom all the more.

The Lord’s correction was done purely out his righteousness, and for his abundant love and compassion for my mother. I am so grateful that he also loved me enough to discipline me and show me where I was wrong. God used a significant tactic, the projection of how precious it was to respect and to value the presence of my mother in my life.

My mother had informed to me later in life that she prayed to the Lord when I was a baby to allow her to live long enough to see me able to become an adult, able to take care of myself. She didn’t ever want me to be mistreated or without the necessities of survival just like any exceptional mother who would lay down their life for their child would not.

God generously granted my mother her request and gave us very long years together. She was able to see me fend for myself, and her too, within the process. I am thankful to the Lord for giving me enough wonderful time with such a dear and loving mother. There are so many in life who didn’t get the chance or opportunity to grow up with a parent due to losing them early on in life.

My heart goes out to all who have experienced this unfortunate circumstance in life. It is important to treasure what matters most within our lives and live each day within recognition of each blessing.

Love Letter To Mom

My mother was a major influence in my world she made a huge impact on my life. Where would I be without the love, attention, and teaching that she gave to me?

Her and I were both smart academically, talented and gifted spiritually, able to learn on our own, to be self-taught without anyone having to train or to inform to us the certain significant matters of life and society. The Lord created us the perfect match for one another.

God played a solid role within my mother’s growth and maintenance. She told me he did a lot for her.

My mother went through a lot from an early age. I wonder how she came through so sufficiently to then endure further hardships with family and other jealous and troubled folk all the while continuing to be a phenomenal mother to me.

Aside from I recognizing God himself proving to be extremely faithful in most of our life circumstances, my mother is the reason I am able to put my hope and trust within the Lord.

Thank you, mommy, for teaching me to pray as a little girl. Thank you, mommy, for all those years of being there for me, always believing in me, always encouraging me. Thank you for being someone I could deeply and genuinely admire, look up to, respect and love ultimately.

Your sense of humor was out of this world, we both cracked each other up. You were funny without trying to be, you had that natural knack for inciting laughter. I get my gaiety from you.

I loved the fondness and ear that we had for different types of music and all of the moments we enjoyed together listening and jamming to the beats. The gospel music you used to play for years was also very inspiring and still motivates me to this very day.

I am so honored and glad that I was born to you, I could not have asked for a better parent. You deserve all the best reward for everything that you have done for me and other undeserving people, and for all that you had to go through in this crazy, twisted world we call a society.

I love you so much, the love you gave to me was untouchable. No one but God can surpass it. Your love highly contributed to my strength, self-worth, and security. You kept me full, never lacking or needing anything other than the nurturing I was supplied with.

I am a survivor, a complete woman due to the fierce and selfless woman in you. Mom, you sacrificed yourself as a true mother does always putting me first.

You were never last to me. You are my number one. The best woman I ever knew. You are my best friend, you and Brandie! Forever, and ever, and ever.

I love you.

 

The Loves Of My Life

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. -Psalm 139:13

I’m not at all ashamed to say that the only ones whom I truly, dearly and completely (wholeheartedly) loved out of my entire household was my mother and my dog (Brandie).

They were, still are, and always will be the loves of my life.

God blessed me with them and he blessed them with me. God made no mistake in placing each one of us into our lives together. We were all made for one another.

You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,  as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. -Psalm 139:15

I wonder how I was so lucky to have such loving and beautiful individuals not only to cross my paths, but to be the innermost part of me through a family relation.

You saw me before I was born.  Every day of my life was recorded in your book.Every moment was laid out  before a single day had passed. -Psalm 139:16

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!

I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me! -Psalm 139:17-18

I remember when I had wanted another puppy so badly as a young child after my very first one was cruelly given away by my grandmother. Two or three years later my mother took me to adopt Brandie, and she was perfect.

It was worth the wait through all of my impatience as God provided us with an exceptional pet. His plan was perfect!

I am very grateful and thankful for my mother and dog and all of the great years we enjoyed. Our bond is extremely special and forever cherished. God had made us three uniquely compatible.

Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. -Ephesians 1:4

 

The True Gender Of A Distinguished Female

Ignorant and insecure men will accuse a female of trying to be like a man when she does not display the stereotypical characteristics of the women they and society have become fondly accustomed to.

In actuality, I by birth have never been the average type of female or the stereotypical version.

Who said, and where does it come from, that women who seem to think like men, or who are not emotional, or who have sex with no emotional attachment are trying to be like men?

Where did it come from that these traits or behaviors are strictly men related? I was born this way, have always been this way, and know other females who are this way.

Only twisted people reflect in this manner.

No matter what gender anyone is they have the right to be and to express who they are without bias, criticism, and backlash from egotistical and inadequate other people.

I was born a female, and I am proud to be a girl, a lady and a woman.

I was not meant to be with a man it is not within my nature to be attracted to, to love, to desire, or to copulate with any male out of pleasure, or out of affection. And I am not a lesbian.

There are certain men who also feel this way about and toward women, and that is perfectly fine.

I’m not talking about hatred of any kind I’m talking about natural inborn tendency.

I am asexual.

I am whole and complete as an individual, confident and secure, uninhibited and unabashed.

I, of course, don’t represent all females as we come in all variety, inherent nature, and preference.

However, I epitomize what a genuine female is as I am a real girl, lady, and woman.

A female is not defined by a standard that is believed to be or a standard of what one should be. A female is defined by the strength and the depth of her true mind and spirit.

 

Brown Skin: I Was Never A Colorstruck Type Of Person

I was never fazed about yellow skin or light colored eyes like many in the black community were.

It went on within the Hispanic community too, how they favored the fairer skin in comparison to the bronze.

It made no sense to me.

I don’t have a light complexion, or a dark complexion, I am a very nice shade of medium brown.

I have always been comfortable in my own brown skin since childhood and never understood the conflict and color problem among other African American individuals.

I never defined a person’s attractiveness or self worth based on a skin tone.

It is not color that denotes physical beauty it is the structure and design of facial features in which appeal to the eye, and the inner beauty of a person’s soul and character, that appeal to the heart and to the mind of those with genuine depth.

Most importantly, and above all, one should be pleased and satisfied with one’s own self and appearance, regardless of anyone else’s opinion, or train of thought.

Self confidence comes with self love, and self approval comes with self acceptance.

The true beauty and richness in color are the shades authentically painted from a brush stroked by the hands of someone who truly loves and believes in them self even if or when nobody else does.

Make-up and types of cosmetics was another thing I never understood and something I never desired to wear.

I believe in being totally natural I could never imagine covering myself up with unnatural coloring that brings out another form of negative shade toward one’s self image.

I know some wear make-up as an enhancement because they feel they look good, though to some, It promotes the idea of not looking good enough.

When one is secure there is no need to hide behind a cover, you’d want to show off your true color.

All shades come in beautiful packages.

 

 

 

 

Baby On Her Feet

After my mother gave birth to me she didn’t want to have anymore children, and I’m glad to be an only child.

My mother invested a lot of time and energy into caring for me and raising me, and she did a spectacular job.

I can’t believe all of the effort and patience my mother had, she was a natural, my mother championed parenthood.

After having gone through so much as a child herself, and taking on the certain responsibilities of her own mother by practically raising her baby sister, my mother deserved much credit.

Although she took on duties that were not her obligations my mother still had a reasonable childhood and healthy upbringing thanks to her resilient spirit and solicitous other family members.

As it is a priority for a loving parent to nurture and to protect their child, the one most important thing my mother told me that she desired when I was an infant and a toddler, was to live to see me grow up and be able to fend for myself.

My mother wanted me to reach into adulthood safely and individually established.

My mother had gotten her wish, and even better than what she hoped for under our particular set of circumstances which came to test us every now and then through the discontentment of unsavory people who envied our lifestyle, and relationship together.

I turned out good, and enduring, all the way through.

For a while, during my mid teenage years, I wondered how things within life would be once I entered into my twenties, and my experience was also even better than what I had myself expected.

My mother and I had divine intervention looking out and watching over us. We beat the obstacles negative people tried to set before us.

I have a beautiful wish for my mother that I’d like her and I to both live to see develop, and eventually happen.

 

 

Wardrobe: Dressing In Style

As a child, my mother always kept me clean and very well-dressed. I constantly had the latest clothes and footwear if it had appealed to me.

During my teenage years my mother use to offer to buy me any type of clothing that I wanted just as long as she could afford to purchase the items at a reasonable price, however, I’d usually refuse her generosity when it came to buying apparel as I wasn’t interested in fashion. I was more preoccupied with food and health. So my mom would get me the type of things I liked to eat since I was growing up strictly vegan at that specific time.

My mother sometimes would hassle with me to get extra clothes when we’d go out shopping together, but, I didn’t want them. I never went without, though, I had brand new stuff stored away for years before I eventually wore them. I wasn’t the average teenager and I never gave my mother any problems that is why she was enthusiastic to give me things. She considered me to be a good kid who never wanted anything or ever bugged her about anything.

My mother loved to dress ever since she herself was a teen and she owned a lot of extremely nice apparel. I had good taste and dressed nice too but I wasn’t into clothing the way my mom was. There was plenty of people who were struck with admiration and jealous of her clothes, and fancy style of dress, whether she wore casual or eventful gear. A few of our neighbors would either ask to borrow certain items of my mother’s wardrobe or they’d attempt to put together outfits of their own to duplicate.

It is said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, I guess so.

 

 

The Year 1983: Monopoly, Movies, Meals, And Mom

When I was eight years old my mother and I got up one day and headed to an area of queens village where we use to shop at, eat at, go to the movies at, and frequent a favorite discount store of ours.

We use to go out all of the time.

On this particular day we stopped off at the discount store and purchased me the original board game Monopoly.

Then we headed to Burger King where she got her a whopper and me a whopper junior with fries.

Then we headed to the movie theater.

The year was 1983 and Scarface with Al Pacino was showing as the film had just came out. Back then, at that particular time, the movie theaters use to show double features.

Scarface was about three hours long and such a good movie that the whole entire audience stayed to see it a second time because also back then nobody had to pay an additional fee to watch a film over again.

Everyone sat through a boring hour and a half long movie until Scarface replayed on the screen. So all of us within the theater sat for approximately seven an a half to eights hours.

After viewing Scarface for the second time my mother and I took a cab home. We arrived at our house around one am in the morning.

Instead of going to sleep my mother stayed up and taught me how to play the board game Monopoly in which she had bought for me earlier the day before.

I had thought the gesture was so nice and we played until I understood and got the hang of the game.

Such a fond memory of the love, care, and fun my mother shared and displayed to me.

We always had activities to occupy our attention.

Another game my mother was enthusiastic about teaching me to play was the board game Life (The Game Of Life).

Oh, we had delightful pastimes.

 

Blessings In Disguise

I’ve always been a free and bubbly spirit, strong and Independent, smart and confident.

Everything I achieved I’ve done on my own no one helped me to get where I’m at as I took the initiative and never accepted or needed any handouts and I am proud of myself.

Since I was in my early twenties just like a lot of young women do around that age I desired to have my own home and to live by myself.

I wasn’t exactly denied the preference. Sometimes life doesn’t give one what they want at the cost of vacating another.

My leaving a shared nest is not necessarily abandoning certain family members depending on the intention. Of course, it’s completely normal and healthy to desire to spread one’s wings and to live a life of their own.

Yet when a loved one may need us life may intercede at what can seem like a burden until we are compensated in ways that operate on the behalf of both parties when the situation is just and commendable.

We learn to accept within specific conditions and make allowances in which turn out to benefit one another at the same time maintaining an independence and individual mode of living.

When we’re decent and good, the universe recognizes, and rewards us special blessings.

Parents: Forever Thankful And Grateful

When people do right by me I always remember them and I will have their back, as I am loyal, genuine, and solid.

When people do wrong by me I always remember them and those people better watch their back, as I am trustworthy, authentic, and vile. – Miss LaToya

For a lot of us our parents are the first people we bond with when we enter into this life.

Some of us have good experiences with our folks and some of us have bad experiences with them.

Fortunately, I was exceptionally well taken care of by my mother, especially under the circumstances and burdens in which she was put through by unsavory individuals and the unnatural trials of life (Witchcraft/Black Magic).

Through out it all and no matter what occurred nothing ever prevented her from being an excellent mother to her child.

I’ll never forget how well I was taken care of and how much I was loved and respected by my very own mother as a child on up until the present and the regard goes a long way.

My mother can always count on me to be in her corner and to always look out for her and not out of obligation but out of an enormous appreciation.

 

Craving

My mother, Patricia, made herself some potato salad earlier today and had fried chicken wings to go along with it.

The meal satisfied her fancy as her preparation turned out just the way she wanted.

She told me her food tasted good.

So my mother and I both prepared two of our own separate meals in which our appetites craved and took pleasure within.

I had an awesome breakfast and she had an amazing lunch.

Simple things like this make us happy and content.

Milkshakes And Pastries: Family Time

When I was a little girl I use to love doughnuts and munchkins.

The pastries were so nice to look at and so delicious to eat. Although I don’t need or desire anything simply because it appears attractive.

Everything in which looks good may not be good or healthy for us all within general.

Nevertheless, when it comes to the enjoyment of certain foods and occasional particular cravings why not indulge if the edibles are prepared with decent and nutrient based ingredients?

Even desserts can be made healthy and we can eat moderate portions or balance out the sweets with other sources of nutrition with foods such as vegetables, fruit, protein, and healthy oils.

An even distribution is key to maintaining healthy levels of what our bodies intake.

I remember when I got older my mother and I use to go to the bakery and I’d buy my cheese danish and I’d get her the black and white cookies that she loved.

She’d also go to the bakery on her own and bring me and her both back our own slices of cheesecakes.

Then, my mother began making her own home-made cheesecake which came out great. And, nowadays we have non dairy cheese cakes available for those of us who live on a vegan or vegetarian diet!

One of my dogs I had years ago loved to drink milk and luckily never had worms (parasites) as a result. She loved milk and Ice cream and she would sit and chill out with me as we both ate delectable batches of oatmeal cookies together. We often did this (eating and snacking with each other) during our times of bonding within our own inviting and “sweet” moments.

I’ve always loved me some milkshakes and I definitely still drink them as well I just use soymilk and non dairy ice cream/frozen desserts.

My favorite type of shake is french vanilla, my mother loves her german chocolate shakes, we’d have a ball engaging within our appetites as we delighted in one another’s company, too.

We’re all entitled to treat ourselves to innocent pleasures.

I also still love certain pastries, cookies, and cakes, they just have to be vegan with natural and non gmo ingredients in order for me to eat them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Teenage Treats

When I was fourteen my mother use to buy me from time to time a tasty vegetable rice meal diced with mushrooms from a diner. The order was kind of expensive due to the food being of quality.

I had first became a vegan/vegetarian between the age of twelve and fourteen and would only eat certain things.

Around twelve and thirteen I’d eat dairy here and there but absolutely no meat. When I was fourteen going on fifteen I became a strict vegan. Then at eighteen, I’d eat a little seafood and poultry but still never any red meat or pork. So once in a while I’d eat a pollo pescetarian diet.

She would also bring me doughnuts and pizza too yet it was of good quality, no junk. We’d always get the good stuff ever since I was little. My mother took well good care of me.

And I am so into taking good care of myself.

Spirit will lead us into healthy modes of living in which is compatible and within accordance to our nature, and evolution.

 

 

 

 

Recognition

One doesn’t need the acknowledgement from others to acknowledge one’s self

I’ve never needed a reward or anybody’s praise to feel good about myself.

I know who I am and I know what I’m capable of doing.

If no one ever took notice of my abilities it would not have made me any less able.

There is so much more to many of us than what a lot of others can see or perceive upon the surface.

What about the other qualities or faculties in which we may possess?

What about our character, how our minds think, what we stand for, what we believe in, the very things in which define our being of substance?

Those of us who are strong and confident don’t require anyone to validate us. Our existence and state of being is proof enough of affirmation, we don’t need confirmation.

The very first award I remember to have received was at the age of seven or eight, I was presented a pen in front of my entire school auditorium for being one of the best readers among all the other students.

From then on, I’d constantly receive certificates, awards, and tokens of achievement, whether at school or on my jobs.

Of course, these exhibits of recognition are very nice and enough to make our parents and those who believe within our capacity very proud of us and of our accomplishments.

I just feel praise and awards are just words and objects in which one shouldn’t expect to depend on when it comes to self worth or self value, and going forward to attain one’s aspirations.

For The Love Of Dogs

Many puppies and dogs are special by nature.

I had quite a few of these animals within my lifetime and enjoyed every moment of sharing my home with these wonderful creatures.

Ten years after I had to have one of my dogs in which I had for seventeen years euthanized due to arthritis pain (which made her yelp), her hind legs giving out, and the fact she wouldn’t eat any food or urinate and move her bowels under the condition, I adopted another puppy from North Shore Animal League.

It was a female pup who was already paper trained and smart as a whip.

I’ve been fortunate to have certain dogs that stood out from the rest that I’ve had within intelligence, behavior, and intuitive ability.

The dog I had for seventeen years was indeed the most exceptional out of all of them. The second most remarkable was the very first puppy I ever owned when I was at the age of seven or eight.

Dogs have a keen sense of smell and natural instincts in general, however, some just bring to my attention the certain things in particular I’ve happened to take a notice of in regard to them.

One circumstance I recognized was how I would be downstairs in my house all day long working on my computer and the puppy would be upstairs the entire time with other relatives who also occupied the home because she’d never come downstairs.

When I’d finally come upstairs hours later to retreat to bed or to watch television she’d just be her normal quiet self, except when she was in the mood to play.

On the days I’d come home from work I’d be coming through the door and I would hear her upstairs whining in anticipation to greet me.

As soon as I’d reach the bedroom she’d be running towards me and jumping all over me, still whining in excitement.

I’d wonder to myself, how did she know I was out all day and not just downstairs on my computer or doing something else? She’d do the same thing all of the time.

My puppy knew the difference between me being home and not being home regardless of the fact at how long I was out of her sight.

Her reactions showed it all.

I even took notice at when she followed me into the bathroom one day and after I’d opened up the medicine cabinet she was able to see my reflection through the outside cabinet mirror.

She continuously looked back at the mirror and at me, studying the double figures of my likeness, in which she was viewing. She just kept turning her eyes back and forth at what she was seeing.

Our pet canines watch everything we do and they watch everything around us and it is marvelous how quickly they can grasp and pick up on things.

It is so adorable and pleasant to assist them within their stages of learning. Oh, how I love them so.

Those beautiful creatures.

 

Vile Strength

 

My mother had me when she was twenty-two years old and we became very close as we bonded immediately after I was born.

We’ve been through a lot together enduring circumstances in which many would not have survived and coming out sustained within a fashion that has caused some to wonder and to be amazed.

My mother and I have battled a very long way from the negativity directed towards us by envious, jealous, and unsavory people in specific.

My mother and I both constantly held our ground and we continue to stand.

Hooray to Peace, power, love, and protection.

 

 

 

Electric Typewriter

My mother bought me my first electric typewriter when I was twelve years of age. It was an excellent quality Brother model attractively toned in beige with a black keyboard.

Before then, I had two manual typewriters.

I treasured the gift my mother gave to me as it gave me a productive way to occupy my mind. She purchased the electric typewriter because she knew I liked to write and after creatively experimenting with stories I had invented with my new literary machine I was certain a writer is what I definitely wanted to be when I grew up.

I use to sit up at my dresser in my bedroom sipping hot tea with milk delightfully typing my imagination away!

During my teenage years my mother wanted to buy me a computer, however, I didn’t want one at the time.

I wasn’t interested as I was content writing in long hand on notebook paper then typing my manuscripts up with the use of my electric typewriter.

Then, one day I got surprised when an old neighbor who use to live next door to us purchased me a brand new computer for Christmas.

She had gotten me everything to go along with it. The monitor, the keyboard, speakers and a printer.

Ever since, I don’t understand why I didn’t want a computer from the beginning when my mother had first suggested the idea to me.

Single Parent Home

Ever since I was a young child I knew that if there was something that I didn’t want within my life then the situation was not going to work out.

Only the things that I preferred and under the circumstances in which I truly desired would instances turn out favorably and long lasting to my concordance.

I was never the type of female that ever hoped to one day get married and have children. I didn’t initially yearn to be a mother, when the idea later on within young adulthood came into mind to have a child it was with the intention of being a single parent, yet I eventually changed my mind about having a baby altogether and it was the right choice for me.

If I did have a child, though, it definitely would have been on my own without a man involved in the picture.

I fortunately grew up in a home without my father present and that is the way I liked it as I grew up strong, confident, independent and liberated-not implying that females that are raised in homes with their father’s can’t turn out that way-it was just an advantage that served a great purpose for me.

When I was little I never wished for or thought about having a dad around and when I saw other children that parents were married or together as a couple it was a situation that I didn’t require to be in I was very content and accustomed to my family order with me and my mom.

I wasn’t alone either there were other kids like me whose mothers raised them without a father it was normal to us. I can’t speak on how they actually felt about the matter, however, everything suited me just fine.

My mother never had any problems out of me I was a good child.

One thing I hated though was when guys were attracted to me or interested in me whether their intentions were good or bad I didn’t care, I wasn’t flattered by any of the attention I was genuinely turned off by it.

And it feels so good that I don’t have to go through undesirable and unsavory individuals who use to send to me the annoying invasions of mind transference through voodoo/black magic.

They had been doing it within many ways for many years within different techniques but with the same motives and that was to bring me down to their level.

Whether it was to attempt to lower my self esteem or to get me to have feelings for a man they worked hard at it and failed miserably.

These people were jealous and resentful because I’d never been hurt or dogged out by a man as so many of them had even the guys were envious and jealous of me they all figured if I was in the same predicament as they were I couldn’t or wouldn’t think that I was better than any of them.

They were also jealous and envious of my intelligence and knowledge and where I could go within life if and when the opportunity arose.

They had such a warped sense of mindset that didn’t correspond with mine in the least if they had succeeded in their designs I’d still be the person who I am today with the same mentality no man could ever break me or kill my spirit. I wasn’t built within that fashion.

If I were interested in men I’d be able to get a good man and would only deal with one that was on my level, however, I’m proudly asexual and am fulfilled and complete as a woman and an individual.

 

My Mother, Patricia

My mother Patricia Lawrence came from a very good and loving solid family, although, her mother wasn’t a good example of what a parent should be my mother received a lot of love, care, and guidance from her grandparents, uncles, cousins, and her father.

On account of her own mother, as well as a few of her envious and jealous siblings, Patricia had it rough growing up yet succeeded within many of her endeavors and became a very responsible and very sufficient adult.

Patricia was a very intelligent woman who had many talents of her very own.

She use to play the saxophone, write music, sewed and design clothing, mastered the art of short hand (Gregg and Pittman), enjoyed and was very skilled in the fields of typing as she once attended college to become a stenographer.

During adolescence Patricia savored the periods of time she’d spend down in Halifax, Virginia with her grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins on her mother’s side of the family.

Down there in the south she worked on the farm, milking the cows, and attending to all of the other animals her family owned.

Our family had mules, bulls, cows, pigs, hens, roosters, baby chickens, turkeys, horses, dogs and cats.

The elders showed my very young mother along with her brother work ethics and responsibility.

At the ages of nine and ten they were taught how to labor numerous tobacco fields on the lands in which her family also owned.

They picked out all varieties of family grown crops in the gardens which some were sold to buyers and the rest was kept for our family to eat as they were established farmers who fed on their own natural and healthy produce.

Our family had their own businesses.

Patricia’s grandmother was a full-blooded Cherokee indian woman who made her own soaps and other handmade and homemade items.

Patricia’s grandfather was an african american man who headed their farm that he with the help of his wife, daughters, and sons kept prosperous.

Patricia’s great uncle, who was her mother’s uncle, owned and conducted his very own funeral home. When he died he passed the establishment on down to our close relatives.